A lot has changed in my life in the last 6 months. I’ve lost a close friend. I’ve made several new friends and gained an adopted family. I’ve left a job I’ve had for over 5 years. I’ve contemplated a relocation. So although I know where I am physically at all times – it’s made me wonder where have I been mentally?
I came to realize that there are people who are never here when they’re here. You know who I’m talking about. And at times, more than I care to admit, it’s been me. And I’m sure it’s definitely been you. All of us at one time or another are in a meeting, with a friend, sitting with family and simply not paying attention.
At my last job, email was my vice. I’d be at my desk talking with someone and the second a new email came in I would instantly look over at the computer – and sometimes even start typing. All while being present with someone else. It’s a behavior I knew I was doing at the time, I even APOLOGIZED while doing it to the person across the table. But after you’ve done that to someone 3 or 4 times the apology becomes hollow. I wasn’t really there.
I see phones becoming the new teleportation device. You’re sitting across the table from me, but I know you’re not there. You’re in your phone. You’re tweeting. You’re Facebooking. You’re texting. You’re doing anything but listening to me – even though you’re doing a GREAT job pretending. I imagine everyone could name at least 5 times in the last day when they’ve done that. Or had someone do it to them. Have we really become that rude as a society? Have I become that rude as a person?
The last 2 weeks I’ve had nothing but time on my hands. No multitasking. No doing two things at once. No pressure to accomplish 400 things in a day that can handle 200. It’s been a short time, but I’ve noticed 2 behavioral changes that just sort of occurred. Neither is rocket science, but I want to call them out – as painfully obvious as they are – because I notice more and more that doing just these two things would inject a little respect back into our lives:
Those two simple things allow me to absorb more of what’s going on around me, participate more fully in every conversation and interaction and generally, be a better person to those in my life. Eventually I’ll be busy again with work, life and other things but I’m going to make a very hard effort to keep both of these new behaviors in tact as I get back to a more normal routine.
But it’s amazing what a little break can do for you, isn’t it?